Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,


Jokes for a Tea-Time

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman. "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked at her smiled and told... . . . . . . . .
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an

5 foods men/women need most


1 Tomato Sauce - Men who eat a lot of tomatoes, tomato sauce, or
pizza smothered with the stuff may be giving themselves a hedge
against prostate cancer. So say researchers at Harvard University,
who studied the eating habits of more than 47,000 male health
professionals. They found that men who ate tomato sauce two to four
times per week had a 35 per cent lower risk of developing prostate
cancer than men who ate none.
A carotenoid called lycopene, which tomatoes contain in abundance,
appeared to be responsible. But scientists were puzzled: tomato juice
didn't seem to have a protective effect. Other research show why. For
best absorption, lycopene should be cooked with some kind of fat. So
pizza may be just what the doctor ordered.

2 Oysters - Myth has it that oysters are the food of love. Science
may agree. Just two to three oyster deliver a full day's supply of
zinc, a mineral critical for normal functioning of the male
reproductive system.
Scientists are divided over reports that sperm counts have declined
over the last 50 years and that environmental factors are to blame.
Nutritional deficiencies do seem to be the cause of certain cases of
low testosterone. Getting adequate zinc is sometimes the answer (up
to 15 milligrams per day is recommended for men; more than 40
milligrams can pose risk). In one trial, 22 men with low testosterone
level and sperm counts were given zinc every day for 45 to 50 days.
Testosterone levels and sperm counts rose.

3 Broccoli - A recent Harvard study finds that cruciferous
vegetables, like broccoli, may protect against bladder cancer which
is common among Asian men. Scientists analysed the diets of nearly
50,000 men and discovered that those who ate five servings or more
per week of cruciferous veggies were half as likely to develop
bladder cancer over a ten-year period as men who rarely ate them. And
broccoli and cabbage were singled out as the most protective foods.

4 Peanut butter - If you want a healthy heart, spread your morning
toast with peanut butter. Heart disease is the leading killer of men
and women, but men fall victim at an earlier age. Researchers from
Pennsylvania State University compared the cholesterol-lowering
effect of the step II Diet of the America Heart Association (AHA)
with a higher-fat diet based on peanuts. The AHA plan included more
carbohydrates. The peanut regimen was 36 per cent fat. After 24 days
both diets lowered "bad" LDL cholesterol. But the peanut plan also
caused a drop in blood fats called triglycerides and did not decrease
HDL, the "good cholesterol. The AHA diet raised levels of triglycerides and lowered
levels of HDL. "Peanut butter is a little higher in fat," says Penny
Kris-Etherton, the lead author of the study. "But it's the type
that's good for you - monounsaturated fat." Researchers have
predicted that the peanut diet could reduce heart-disease risk even
more than the AHA diet could.
Just don't go nutty plastering on the tasty spread, since it is high
in kilojoules.

5 Watermelon - Until the age of 55, more men suffer from high blood
pressure than do women. Research suggests that foods rich in
potassium can reduce the risk of high blood pressure and stroke. The
evidence is so convincing that the US Food and Drug Administration
recently allowed food labels to bear a health claim about the
connection between potassium-rich foods and high blood pressure. "A
good goal for potassium is about 2000 milligrams or more a day," says
Antigone Blazos, a lecturer at Asia Pacific Health and Nutrition
Centre in Melbourne, Australia. Watermelon is a rich source of this
mineral and has more potassium - 664 milligrams - in just one large
slice than the amount found in banana or a glass of orange juice. So
cut yourself another slice and enjoy its cool taste.

There you have it: five great foods for men that can keep both of
you well fed and healthy at the same time.


1 Papaya - This fruit packs about twice the vitamin C of an orange.
Add it to your arsenal against gallbladder disease, which afflicts
twice as many women as men. After analysing the blood of over 13,000
people, scientists from the University of California, San Francisco,
found that women who had lower levels of vitamin C were more likely
to have gallbladder illnesses. One medium papaya (about 280 grams),
with 188 milligrams of C and a mere 500 kilo-joules, is a refreshing
source of the vitamin. Best of all it's probably growing in your

2 Flaxseed - Bakers use this nutty-flavoured seed mainly to add
flavour and fibre. But scientists see the tiny reddish-brown seed,
rich in oestrogen-like compounds called lignans, as a potential
weapon against breast cancer. An exciting report at last year's San
Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium showed that adding flaxseed to the
diet of women with breast cancer effectively slowed tumour growth.
You can flavour your muffins with flaxseed, but the easiest way to
get the beneficial lignans is to sprinkle a few tablespoons of ground
flaxseed on your morning cereal. Look for the seeds in health food
shops. They're easy to grind in a blender or coffee grinder. But get
seeds - there are no lignans in the oil.

3 Tofu - Foods high in soya protein can lower cholesterol and may
minimise menopausal hot flushes and strengthen bone. Isoflavones,
plant chemicals in soyabeans that have a structure similar to
oestrogen, may be the reason. Though animal studies form the bulk of
evidence, a human study found that 90 milligrams of isoflavones was
beneficial to bone (specifically the spine). And two other studies
suggest that 50 to 76 milligrams of isoflavones a day may offer some
relief from hot flushes.
Half a cup of tofu contains about 25 to 35 milligrams of isoflavones.

4 Pork - Due largely to menstruation, women tend to be more anaemic
than men. And low iron levels in blood can cause severe fatigue. To
get a good dose of iron, try pork. It has what every diet-conscious
women wants - lots of iron and fat that can be easily removed,
compared to most cuts of meat. According to the Asian Food
Information Centre in Singapore, a palm-sized pork steak has about
1.4 milligrams of iron. Best of all, says Dr Mark Wahlqvist,
president of the International Union of Nutrition Sciences, eating a
small amount of pork with a meal increases the absorption of iron
from accompanying vegetables and cereals.

5 Cabbage - This humble vegetable may help fight osteoporosis,
which affects many women late in life. In addition to getting
adequate amounts of calcium and vitamin D, some studies suggest that
vitamin K may have a bone-protective effect as well. Based on data
from one of the largest studies of women, the Nurses' Health Study,
researchers discovered that women who ate enough vitamin K-rich foods
(at least 109 micrograms of the vitamin daily) were 30 per cent less
likely to suffer a hip fracture during ten years of follow-up than
women who ate less. Researchers point out that dark-green leafy
vegetables - brussels sprouts, spinach, broccoli - are all good
sources of the vitamin. But cabbage is among the best.

There you have it: five great foods for women that can keep both of
you well fed and healthy at the same time.

Water After Meal

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to

It says it is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal.
However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just

It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the
It will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the
Solid Food.

It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to
Drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

They are not real women!

Le French Class

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French,unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine..."House" is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil" is masculine-"le crayon."A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups -male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer"should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine("le computer") because :
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

The women won. .

The Box

"If you don't know where you're going, you will probably wind up somewhere else."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter -

I received this from a friend who had a choice to make. It said
that I had a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to choose.

The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year
old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive good wrapping paper. Money
was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold
Paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother
The next morning and said, "This is for you, Momma."The mother was embarrassed by her earlier overreaction but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know,Young lady,When you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh Momma, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full."The mother was crushed. She fell to her knees and put her arms Around the little girl and she begged her for forgiveness for her thoughtless Anger.An accident took the life of the child only a short time later,And it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the Years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems,she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the Love of the child who had put it there.In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given A Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends, and God. There is no more precious possession Anyone could hold.

Disposable chopsticks DANGER

This is a true case, if you don't believe try the following test: Soak a pair of disposable chopsticks (usually given to you when you buy pack food from a Chinese take-away) for between 3 to 5 minutes inside hot boiling water. Within minutes and right infront of your eyes, you will noticed that some white colouring matter seems to be dissolved into the hot water from the chopsticks. What is released from the chopsticks is actually a chemical, a bleaching agent.In a campaign promoting healthy care in Singapore recently, Professor Jackson Mathis reminds people not to use disposable chopsticks, as almost the majority of them are made in or imported from China. He explained that during the manufacturing process of disposable chop-sticks before the actual production itself, all raw materials are already cover-grown with germs that make the wood materials look like they are coated in multiple colours or are covered with poisonous fungus. The first process itself is already frightening as the manufacturer starts the process by soaking up the wooden raw materials inside a very big container that is filled with a very toxic and highly poisonous chemical. This chemical is intentionally added in inorder to preserve the materials. After a few days of soaking, they are then washed with an even worse cleaning agent, in this case it is a bleaching agent (which chemical ph level is believe to be more Than a thousand times over the general permissible/acceptable international standards). And guess what? these chemicals itself is likely to cause greater harm to our health (if we continue consuming such chemicals into our body on a daily basis) not forgetting that since these chemicals used are usually carcinogenic in nature, they are likely to cause cancer. Since his last visit to a disposable chopsticks manufacturing plant in China 5 years ago, Professor Jackson Mathis has immediately stop using such disposable chopsticks anymore. In Professor Jackson case, just incase if he ever forgets to bring along his own pair of chopsticks for lunch or dinner, he usually make sure that he do not forget to put one pair of it inside his bag since it can be re-use again and again. Professor Jackson Mathis said: "If you have been using disposable chopsticks in the past, and you insist on continue using them again, please pause and think for a moment. Why is cancer spreading like wild fire these days throughout the world affecting all sorts of people. After that think of how many pairs of disposable chopsticks a factory in China is producing by the minute. The answer itself is right here

What to do if stopped by Malaysian police


This is is very useful information. Please pass it on to your friends and family.............especially the women folk!

The next time you are stopped by persons who claimed they are plainclothes police, you are under no obligation to answer their questions or follow their orders, lawyers told Malaysiakini today.

"Policeman who is not wearing his uniform does not have the authority
to stop anyone," lawyer and human rights activist Sivarasa Rasiah said.

Sivarasa was commenting on the alleged gang-rape of an 18-year-old Uni student by four men claiming to be police officers on New Year's Eve. The girl said that her car was stopped in Taman Tun Dr Ismail in Kuala Lumpur and were asked by the men to open the car bonnet. She was then told that she had committed an offence and ordered to follow the men to a police
station. The girl was driven in her car along the North-South expressway to the Tapah-Cameron Highlands road before she was raped in an oil palm estate.

This incident, and many others, have sparked confusion over the
procedures which motorists must follow when flagged down by the police. The most common problem is that most people take instructions without determining if the other person is really a cop," lawyer Annie Santiago said.

However, if you are stopped by a uniformed policeman, then you are required to stop. But you need not get out of the car because you are not
expected to do so, Santiago said. He other rule to follow is to provide your
identity card only when you are asked to do so. "Even then, you should get
his ID first to confirm if he is a cop. There is no harm in calling the relevant police station to verify if he is supposed to be on duty that day," Sivarasa said.

Both lawyers said that motorists should never follow an officer to the police station unless one is under arrest. "If you are not sure, and your instincts tell you that something is wrong, then drive off to the nearest police station and lodge a report," Sivarasa said.

In response to the alleged gang-rape of the 18-year-old, Women's Aid Organisation executive-secretary Ivy Josiah called on the police to launch an education program to teach the public about their rights to prevent them from being victimised by bogus police officers.

Procedures to follow in the event you are stopped by uniformed police Officers while driving.
Stop the car and wind down your window.
If the police officers ask for your documents, request to see their IDs first.
If you are satisfied about their identity, ask them if you are being summoned, and for what offence.
Produce your identity card and driver's license and wait to collect your summon ticket.

In the event that the police officers ask you to follow them to the police station:
Ask if you are under arrest and for what offence.
If you are not under arrest, you have the right to leave.

In the event you are flagged down by persons you believe could be plainclothes police:
Do not stop because plainclothes police officers do not have the authority to stop you.
Drive to the nearest police station and lodge a report. (The same procedure applies to pedestrians)

In the event the police come to your house:
Do not let them in before checking their IDs.
If you are not satisfied, phone the nearest police station and confirm if they had been sent to your house.
You are under no obligation to allow them into the house if they don't have a search warrant.
Do not go with them if you are not under arrest.

In the event persons who claimed to be plainclothes police come to your
Do not let him in because they do not have the authority to do so.
Lodge a report at the nearest police station.

IPK KUALA LUMPUR: 03 - 2076 0522
AMPANG: 03 - 4252 2222
BRICKFIELDS 03 - 2274 2222
CHERAS: 03 - 9284 2222
DANG WANGI: 03 - 2070 2222
KL TRAFFIC POLICE: 03 - 2072 9044
IPK SELANGOR: 03 - 5514 5222
HOTLINE: 03 - 5510 2999
PETALING JAYA: 03 - 7956 2222
SHAH ALAM: 03 - 5510 2222
KLANG: 03 - 3371 2222
HULU LANGAT: 03 - 8736 2222
HULU SELANGOR: 03 - 6064 1222
KUALA LANGAT: 03 - 318 7222
KUALA SELANGOR: 03 - 3289 1222
GOMBAK: 03 - 6092 6222
SABAK BERNAM: 03 - 3224 2222
SEPANG: 03 - 3142 1222
KLIA: 03 - 8787 2222

A Poison For Mother-in-law

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got
married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.

In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with
her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were
very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her
Mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
Dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do
Something about it!
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang,
who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would
Give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once
and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said,
"Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned
In a few minutes with a package of herbs.
He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison
to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would
cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body.

Every other day prepare some delicious meal and
Put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make
sure that nobody suspect you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her.

"Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and
treat her like a queen."

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and
hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every
other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law.
She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so
she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like
her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household
had changed.

Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so
much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had
an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now
seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to
love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives
that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating
each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked
for his help again.
She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep
the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such
a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her
to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li,
there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I
gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in
your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed
away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is
Exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying:
"The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be
trying to work in another person's life through you.

Latest Traffic Summons in Malaysia

Traffic Summon Charges in Malaysia

Price quoted below are nett without further discount, bargaining are
subject to price increase without further notice.

Exceeding 1 - 20km/h = $130 + 4 demerit points.
Exceeding 21 - 30km/h = $150 + 6 demerit points.
Exceeding 31 - 40km/h = $180 + 8 demerit points.
Exceeding 41 - 50km/h = $200 + 12 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding 51 - 60km/h = $200 + 18 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding 61km/h = $200 + 24 demerit points + Court.

If you want to be a hero and fight the court case yourself, and you
lose, you pay the court charges yourself, which will add up to your
fine. I guess the court charges is at least $200 and above.

Careless driving = $150 + 6 demerit Points.
Inconsiderate Driving = $170 + 9 Demerit Points + Court.
Dangerous Driving = $200 + 24 Demerit Points + Court + Vehicle Compounded.
Illegal Racing = $200 + Vehicle Confiscate + Court.
Fail to put Seat Belt = $120 + 3 demerit points.
Crossing Double White lines = $130 + 4 points.
Phone and Drive = $200 + 12 demerit point + Phone Confiscate.

Do not hold your handphone in your hand when you drive even with loud
speaker or ear piece.

Drink Driving (first offence.) = Up to $5000 Fine and, or Jail Term +
Licence Suspended + Court.
2nd time offence = Jail term + Fine + Court.

Making an illegal U Turn when there's no U Turn sign = $70.
Fail to Signal when changing lanes = $70.
Driving at night without headlights or taillights switch on after 7pm = $30.

No Number Plate = $70.
Obstructed Number Plate = $70.
Obscured Number Plate = $70.
Number Plate Of Unapproved Type = $70.

Demerit Point system:

Let's say you have 0 point on 1st January 2005, and you committed the
offence of Failing to Put on Seat Belt. So now, you will have 3 demerit
points and this will last for 1 Year.

If during this 1 year you have no demerit points offence at all, your 3
demerit points will be gone on 1/1/2006.

But, if during this one year, From 1/1/2005-1/1/2006, you commited
another offence with demerit points, your very first offence will be
extended for another year until 1/1/2007.

For more information on demerit points (Kejara) go to

True Story

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said. The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down the Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him. "It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP. "After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately , it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added. "The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.

This is a real story that shows me that our differences don't matter much, when we need to comfort another. We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures of God, "Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together".


I thought this was quite funny!

This is a strictly mathematical goes like this:What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far arse kissing will take you.

1+18+19+5+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 131%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Arse kissing "

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far arse kissing will take you.

1+18+19+5+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 131%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Arse kissing that will put you over the top.

Ghost protection in hotel!

For all of u who love travelling. Ok, here's some believes of the hoteliers: Every single hotel, there shall be at least a permanent room which should be left vacant at all times. No matter how full the hotel is, they are not to sell that room(s) to any guest. It was said that special room was "reserved" for those "special visitors". So, if you plan to stay in some hotel, always book in advance. Try to avoid walk in. If the receptionist told you there's no more room available, do not insist one anymore or try to bribe them to give you a room. If you do that, most of the time the room you have will be that "special room". Sometimes those "special visitors" might go to other rooms also, so here's some tips on how to protect yourself:- Before entering your room, always knock on the door first, even if you know the room is vacant. After you enter the room, if you felt very cold suddenly and have"chicken spore", leave the room quietly immediately and go to reception to request to change room. Most of the time the receptionist will understand what's happening. After you enter the room, immediately switch on all of the lights, and open the curtain to let the sun light in. Before you go to bed, arrange your shoes so that one of them is upside down. Some say this is representing yin & yang to protect you while you're asleep. Always leave at least a lamp on while you're sleeping, preferably the toilet's lamp. If you're staying alone and they have give you a twin bed, do not sleep with the other bed vacant, try to put your things like luggage on the other bed before you sleep Another tip to protect yourself....When you enter your hotel room, look for the Bible.
Most hotel place the Bible inside a drawer. However, if upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON'T STAY IN THAT ROOM! It means "special visitors" are there. If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request a change of room!!!It means the "special visitor" is really creating trouble in that room!! And here's some tips on protecting yourself in the cinema...Do not attend the first screening of any movies in the cinema. By the first screening, I mean the first time the movie is shown in that particular cinema. Reason? The first screening is meant for the "special visitors". However, if you insist on going, then sit somewhere in the middle. The first and last rows are reserved for "them" !!! Be warned Most hotel place the Bible inside a drawer. However, if upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON'T STAY IN THAT ROOM! It means "special visitors" are there. If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request a change of room!!!>It means the "special visitor" is really creating trouble in that room!! And here's some tips on protecting yourself in the cinema...Do not attend the first screening of any movies in the cinema. By the first screening, I mean the first time the movie is shown in that particular cinema. Reason? The first screening is meant for the "special>visitors".>However, if you insist on going, then sit somewhere in the middle. The first and last rows are reserved for "them" !!! Be warned

Enjoy that next cup of coffee: it may be your last

[TT] Enjoy that next cup of coffee: it may be your last

The Times, London

World News

The Times
March 08, 2006

Enjoy that next cup of coffee: it may be your last
By Sam Lister

Research suggests that carrying a particular gene prevents some people from
processing caffeine quickly and makes them more vulnerable to heart attacks

COFFEE drinkers who have more than three cups a day could significantly
increase their chances of suffering a heart attack.

Research suggests that some people who carry a particular variation of a
gene cannot process caffeine as quickly as other people. Such individuals
could be 60 per cent more likely to have a heart attack if they drink large
amounts of coffee.

It is not known how common the gene variation is in the British population.
Some studies indicate that up to a third of Caucasians may carry it.

Canadian scientists have discovered that people with the slower metabolism
gene variation, known as *1F, run a dramatically higher risk even if they
drink only two cups a day.

Researchers found that heavy coffee drinkers under the age of 50 were four
times as likely to have an attack compared with those who had one cup a day.

However, the study suggests conversely that people with a different variant
of the same CYP1A2 gene, called *1A, could benefit from coffee. It found
that for these individuals the drink might offer some protection against
heart attacks, although the figures are less statistically significant.
Drinking one cup a day appeared to halve the odds of a heart attack for
these individuals, while drinking two or three cups cut the risk by about 40
per cent.

Ahmed El-Sohemy, Canada Research Chair in Nutrigenomics at the University of
Toronto, told The Times that the study showed that coffee should, by and
large, be drunk in moderation. He added that the suggested benefits of
drinking coffee for *1A gene carriers explained why many previous coffee
studies had offered apparently conflicting results.

High amounts of caffeine have long been blamed for overstimulating the
nervous system. It contains ditrepenes, said to be responsible for raising
levels in the blood of a stress hormone called homocysteine, which can lead
to strokes.

Pregnant women have been urged not to drink more than three cups of coffee a
day in case it increases the chances of miscarriage or stillbirth.

Some doctors have suggested that coffee can have health benefits. The
antioxidants can ward off high blood pressure, according to a 12-year study
by American scientists. Coffee has also been linked with a reduced risk of
developing gallstones.

Previous research has also indicated that consumption of coffee and
caffeine, the most widely consumed stimulant in the world, may be implicated
in the development of cardiovascular diseases.

The latest study, carried out by Dr El-Sohemy and colleagues, and involving
more than 4,000 people in Costa Rica, suggests that individuals with the
specific variant gene who have two to three cups of coffee a day increase
their chances of suffering a heart attack by 36 per cent. For those who
drink four cups or more, the risk is raised by 64 per cent.

The study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association,
included 2,014 case patients with a first acute non-fatal heart attack and
2,014 controls, living in Costa Rica between 1994 and 2004. The “slow
metabolism” genotype was found to be present in 55 per cent of the
participants, who were Hispanic Americans.

However, coffee also contains other chemicals that have variable effects on
the cardiovascular system, and it remains unclear whether caffeine alone
affects the risk of heart attack or if other chemicals may be responsible.

“One cup a day is not associated with any harm, regardless of your genetic
make-up,” Dr El-Sohemy said.

Copyright 2006 Times Newspapers Ltd.

Useful Tips on Tyres

Were you aware??

If you own a car or bike, this is how you check your tyres for safety. Check your car tire's to see if it's expired!! The date your car tyres were manufactured, and the date of expiry. Expert will tell you that all tyres' life span is 5 years. I know alot of people will say that 5 years ah, my tyres already broken! Yes, its true. But the 5 year life span commenced from day one it is manufactured, regardless of whether it is sitting in the tyre shop or running on the road. What if your newly bought tyre have a life of only one month to expire? It is possible. Have you come across people selling you cheap cheap tyres? How are you going to check whether the tyre mechanic is bluffing you. Now, go to your car tyre and check for this sign: (*2603*) the asterisk at the beginning and the end of this number. The first two numbers 26 mean the number of the week in that year it was manufactured, (52 weeks in a year, remember) The last two numbers represent the year of manufacturing. The above 2603 shows that the tyres were manufactured in the 26th week of year 2003. *2699* This number shows that these tyres were manufactured in the 26th week of year 1999. If yours are going for a long distance journey, do check all your tyres for your own and your dearest passengers safety. Expired tyres are bound to explode if it's run on a hot weather, because the car tyres rubber and the inner layer are starting to crack up.

10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

1. No Breakfast - People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. Over-eating - It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to
a decrease in mental power.
3. Smoking - It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to
Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar Consumption - Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution - The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our
body. Inhaling polluted air deceases the supply of oxygen to the
brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation - Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term
deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping - Sleeping with the head covered,
increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease
concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. Working your brain during illness - Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts - Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.
10. Talking Rarely - Intellectual conversations will promote the inefficiency of the brain.sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well
as damage the brain.

Primary 3 Questions

A Primary School teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered,
"I'm too smart for the Primary 1.
My sister is in Primary 3 and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"

The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited
in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.
The principal told the teacher
he would give the boy a test and
if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
Primary 1, and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in.
The conditions were explained,
and Harry agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1
student should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can
go to Primary 3."
The teacher says to the principal,
"May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.

"What does a cow have four of that I have only two?"
Harry: "Legs."

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."

"What's starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
Harry: "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."

"What does a man do standing up,
a woman do sitting down and dog do on three legs?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
Harry: "Shake hands."

"Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

"You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do." Who am I??
Harry: "A Tent."

"A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first." What am I??
(Principal was looking restless and a bit tense)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, I feel good." What am I??
Harry: "A Nose."

"I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver." What am I??
Harry: "An Arrow."

"What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
this ass in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."

Aspartame the silent killer

For those who takes Ricola & Fisherman, please note that they both contain Aspartame - the silent killer. My friend used to buy thissilentpoison.She had actually stopped since last April. She was shocked whenshe was stopped at the metal detection at ChangiAirport(JapanTrip) due to this sweet. Reason given by security officer, it contains"lead" :

This website shows the adverse effects of ASPARTAME. FOR THOSE WHO LIKE TO EAT FISHERMAN SWEETS BE CAREFUL. Sugar free products contain ASPARTAME. So don't consume Sugar free product esp.'fishermansweet'


There is an epidemic across North America today of Multiple Sclerosis andLupus. Most people do not understand why this epidemic is happening, and they do not know why these diseases are so rampant. I would like to share with you the main reason we are having this very serious problem.Many people today use artificial sweeteners in their tea or coffee.They do this because the ads they see on TV tell them that sugar is bad for their health. This is absolutely true. Sugar is toxic to us, but what most people use as a replacement for sugar is much more deadly.I am talking about ASPARTAME. It is the cause of the epidemic that was mentioned above. ASPARTAME is an extremely toxic chemical that is produced by a chemical company called Monsanto. ASPARTAME is being marketed around the world as a sugar substitute and is found in all diet soft drinks, such as Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi. It is also found in artificial sweeteners such as NutraSweet, Equal, and Spoonful; and it is used in many other products as a sugar replacement.ASPARTAME is marketed as a diet product, but it is not a dietproductatall. In fact, it will cause you to GAIN weight because it makes you crave carbohydrates. Causing you to gain weight is only a very small part of what ASPARTAME does. It is a toxic chemical that changes the brain's chemistry. It can and does cause severe seizures. This chemical changes the dopamine level in the brain, and it is particularly deadly for any one suffering from Parkinson's disease.ASPARTAME is extremely poisonous, and here is why one of the toxic ingredients of it is wood alcohol. When the temperature of ASPARTAME exceeds 86 degrees F, the wood alcohol in it is converted to Formaldehyde, and then to formic acid, which in turn causes folicacidosis.FORMALDEHYDE is grouped in the same class of poisons as Cyanide and Arsenic which are very deadly toxins. The only difference is Formaldehyde kills quietly, and it takes a little longer. And, in the process of killing people, it causes all kinds of neurological problems. There are 92 documented symptoms of Aspartame Poisoning leading to coma and death.The majority of these symptoms are neurological, because the ASPARTAME attacks and destroys the nervous system.One of these symptoms is Lupus, which has become almost as rampant as Multiple Sclerosis, especially with Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi drinkers.

Life is not so simple after all~

Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes
Evening keep clothes
Nite iron clothes
Midnight take off clothes
Few hours after midnight find clothes

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To let it in she pushes it. True?
Threading a needle is not easy.

A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said
" Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you".

Girl: Mom what is a penis?
MoM: When you become a good girl you will get one.
Girl: But mom what if I am not a good girl?
Mom: Then you will get many!

A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
If I give you $3million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?
Secretary: Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties.

Schoolgirl:I do not want to take the sex Education class.
Teacher: Why?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral.

Two sperms talking on mobile
Ist: I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube n uterus. Are u close by?
2nd: No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils.

Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS.
This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.