Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The Singh Stories

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh,
came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it,
looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went
to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came
again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and
then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,"Is something wrong?"

To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid
computer keeps telling me I have mail!"


==========================

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach inAmerica . A lady came
asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."

Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, "No
No Me Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to
him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more
educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."

The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot.Everyone is
looking for you and you are sitting over here!"


=====================================

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint
Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"
2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today andTomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even
though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a
year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,
etc..."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.
=====================================
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"

======================================
Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?"

The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

====================================

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes

his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt,
pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ."

================================================
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.

So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied,
"I came here for blood test"

Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished
and asked other, "Why are you crying?"

The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."


=======================================
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you
doing?"

To this the man replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin
"."

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